This week been another round of adventures which is begining to leave me a bit exhausted. My roommate and I took about a 4 hour nap today and I´m sure my sleeping schedule is entirely askew. It is normal and expected to stay awake until about 1 weekdays and on a ¨good¨weekend, abour 4 or 5. It hasn´t been an easy adjustment and usually my companions pick on me for leaving early.
I have been keeping busy with classes, friends, and sight seeing, yet still have had time to read and write. Sometimes this trip feels like a vacation so I am trying to not feel guilty about the fun I am having while I know the world continues as usual everywhere else.
I had one of my loveliest days so far this past friday. My classmates had gone out to a discoteque the night before and went home after school to catch up on sleep so I was on my own. I revisited some of the shopping areas that I had been to on busy weekends hoping to find more gifts for people. I walked and walked most of the day in the nice weather and quiet atmosphere, for it was siesta. I happened upon a plaza that was celebrating goods from all different parts of Spain. Stands and stands filled with enormous cheese wheels and legs of hams, canned olives and peppers, wines and beers. The plaza was certainly lively. I migled through and tasted all the samples that I could. What fun it was! There were even accordion players adding to the affair. I stopped in a bookstore nearby to pick up another leisure novel (I´ve had sufficient time to finish my last one) and brought it back to read at the plaza. I retraced my steps of free samples and sat down for a glass of wine and read my book. It was such a lovely afternoon. The day was much like the day dreams I had prior to leaving. While reading short stories by Joseph Conrad, I was surprised at the story I was reading because there was a portion describingtwo men living as foreigners to a country. As always, Joseph Conrad describes life with brutal clarity and I was pleased with his description of the circumstance. He writes:
They were two perfectly insignificant and incapable individuals, whose existence is only rendered possible through the high organization of civilized crowds. Few men realize that their life, the very essence of their character, their capabilities, and their audacities, are only the expression of their belief in the safety of their surroundings. The courage, the composure, the confidence; the emotions and principals; every great and every insignificant thought belongs not to the individual but to the crowd: to the crowd that believes blindly in the irrestistable force of its institutions and of its morals, in the power of its police and of its opinion. But the contact with pure unmitigaed savagery, with primitive nature and primitive man (in my circumstance a european country- not quite primitive) brings sudden and profound trouble into the heart. To the sentiment of being alone of one´s kind, to the clear perception of the loneliness of one´s thoughts, of one´s sensations- to the negation of the habitual, which is safe, there is added the affirmation of the unusual, which is dangerous; a suggestion of things vague, uncontrollable, and repulsive, whose discomposing intrusion excites the imagination and tries the civilized nerves of the foolish and wise alike.
An Outpost of Progress, Joseph Conrad